Possibilities: Session 10

Creativity Fun Calm Peace Thoughtful Caring

It is the last group session of this series of ten two hourly meetings and there is an air of concentration as everyone is finishing off their journals, figures and story boxes.  One of the mums cannot be with us and we miss her gentle presence, so her journal is wrapped and given to be delivered to her home by the health visitor team.  We all had made very different little environs for our books and figures to sit within, and a swell of anxiety unfolds with the knowing that we won't be meeting next Monday.  So, we talk about the future, hopes and dreams and possibilities.  Each person gets a wishing-well butterfly tag, and we write positive words as a gift to each other. We are sad to finish the sessions, but there is talk too for some of the mums of returning to work, of others possibly meeting at the local cafe, to continue as others mothers have done from other MTMS sessions, meeting on a Tuesday afternoon at the local church cafe tea rooms.

Philippa Forsey, Project Manager, Creativity Works, together her colleague Ailsa, come and join in with the last session to review feedback.  The comments are so positive, and there is much laughter.   On a small coloured leaf we write our feelings to note how different we feel from when we first joined...Hugs and tears and laughter, moving forward, we talk about each of our individual books and journeys and share some words.

"HAPPY CONFIDENT AS A MUM ORGANISED STRESS FREE PEACEFUL LUCKY INSPIRED RELAXED MORE THOUGHTFUL HAPPIER CALM RESPECTFUL CONFIDENT IN WHAT I WANT FEELING MORE GROWN UP REMEMBERING TO FOLLOW MY INSTINCT MY BABY IS HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS MORE POSITIVE AND OPTIMISTIC NEED TO PAUSE REST RELAX ENJOY HAPPY END OF TUNNEL LIGHT EXCITED FUTURE BRIGHT BETTER GRATEFUL SETTLED RELAXED LESS UP AND DOWN HAVE AN OUTLET SUPPORTED MORE SECURE BETTER!"

"Inspirational...a true journey of re-discovery", she said.

For me as the facilitator, there is talk with Creativity Works about a potential Artist Residency to develop ideas and materials relating to the programme, and an opportunity for a new series of sessions too.  The sessions work because of the spirit of collaboration...so a big thank you to Judith & Sarah from the Health Visitors team, together with Children's Centre staff and creche team; the women really appreciated and acknowledged the support.   Thank you also to Paula Tew, Textile Artist, who came and took a series of images to document the women's unique artworks.

Observing our World : Session 9

Another rainy July day and some of the mums could not attend because of children being unwell, but ring in to ask can the artwork be taken home next week to share with partners.  There is sadness about this series of sessions finishing next week. "All good things come to an end" said one mum..."Mondays have really been my favourite day of the week".  There is an open discussion about being stressed, the nature of depression, relationships with mothers and whether we have support from friends, family and how we draw upon our own resources.  There is sharing about whether we can convey to our children and partners our true feelings, challenging family circumstances and methods of how to cope with young children and the desire to have times to just be free.  There is talk too of patterns of change, body image, our view of ourselves as mothers and individuals and the nature of honesty, all whilst making creative journal pages.

On the table are flowers, a candle, the fragrance of lavender oil and a book 'When I love myself enough'.   One of the women talks about how she longs for some time to think, for the mind to be quiet.  We change the mood and play beautiful serene music and focus in on our own individual thoughts, the invitation for five minutes to explore free writing exploring what we appreciate about ourselves and our world.

We reflect back on the writing and the women share how much they have learnt about themselves, that they didn't realise they could be so insightful.  There is talk about who is there to support us, to understand how things can be when feeling challenged.

It has been great for me as lead artist to have the support of Paula Tew, "I am really sad too that this is my last day".  She has had fun recording and documenting spontaneous events, how the sessions are run, experienced and enjoyed.  She takes digital photographs of the huge amount of beautifully creative artworks, together with the small protective environments which are made for the journals, a safe space too for the figures we have created.  We discuss that the world wants evidence of everything, whereas these sessions have been about experience, women coming together to share wisdom and learn resilience for daily lives.  Meanwhile, we enjoy making animated slideshows of the journals.

Being Good Enough : Session 8

The session explores making covers for our books, completing figures of ourselves, or creating environments to tell a story.  Talk turns to relationships between our thoughts, well-being, concerns for others...hopes and dreams, challenges of mothering, of sometimes having to walk away.  There is a thought trail about being simply a good enough mother.  One mum had phoned to say she was having a bad day and felt she could not attend...so for the those that cannot be there, we create a thought wish for them to be well.  Talk turns to mother & child, the madonna, the nature of post-natal depression, expectations, guilt, plans for the future, new opportunities, body image etc.  I show my shoe box shrine with strange looking figure with a rather large eye and an odd shaped baby in a sea shell...hmm, is the comment, she's rather ugly!  A poem is shared about being a mother.

"Mummy is my name"...

There is a conversation around possibilities for the future...but for some there are no plans, no real change, just this time and space to create a feeling of relaxation, creativity and well-being.  We touch on what we could imagine happening in the future, whilst making paper mache dolls, small shrines, creating a fairy bottle red velvet wrapped person with poetic message, together with the making a one woman boat to celebrate a new phase.  Meanwhile, there is an agreement that a camera or digital tablet could temporarily hang off the ceiling to take photo documentation of all the colourful creative stories that are unfolding. 

She said.."This sets me up for the week!"

Out of the Blue : Session 7

A grey July rainy Monday morning and we settle in anticipation around the table, some of us feeling various shades on wellness, challenges of sorting children and the need for sunshine!  Talk turns to discussing how coming to the sessions have helped and what would happen at THE END.  Ideas of what could possibly continue, ie organise time to meet up as mums & babies, coffee mornings, etc.  I discuss how previous groups have continued to meet (until their kids are secondary school age), in a group called OUT OF THE BLUE. There is pondering too, about how post-natal depression can affect one woman and not another, happen with one birth but not another.

There is talk of this blog, the first comment from the group has been posted, I can see it but for some reason nobody else can read it!  Someone else too has tried to leave a comment but to no avail.... and so there is a mutter about technology.  

"I think Health Visitors could show this blog to other mother's,

who may be uncertain or shy about joining MTMS."

"I arrive feeling one way and always leave feeling different...I always feel so much better after coming here" she said.

Paula has brought from her time in Japan, an amazing photo album of her experiences which include shrines, statues and young girls dressed up as maids.  On the table she places wish dolls.  There is laughter as I share out the series of portrait photographs taken in last week's session. Courage is mentioned. Hmm I think looking at my image, I look like I am only half there. Someone else comments that she could possibly feature on a wanted poster.  Ohhh, I don't want to see myself, is another cry.  OMG I didn't know I had so many freckles.  Why do I look like I have a black eye is another cry?

 "I would never have thought arty sessions 

would be for me", she said whilst gluing purple wool hair on her head.

The images of the amazingly unique faces are fast and furiously cut, stuck, selectively arranged and transformed into various guises, creating story scenes within the pages of our journals, with children added, or created into paper mache dolls.  The past and the present feelings are written into the pages of the books, and inside tightly wrapped paper dolls dreams for the future are created out of the blue.

Observations: Session 6

Today we talked about putting on a brave face. I shared a cloth book I made when travelling in India.  Inside the book was stuffed tiny objects I collected along the way.  I shared too a prayer doll I made for a friend who was not well, and a doll of myself.  We talked about wrapping and unwrapping.  Wishing ourselves and others well.

Paula Tew, Textile Artist, assisted on the session, and set up a digital tablet, as a way of documenting the  activity around the table.  She also placed on the materials table a small paper mache doll she had made of her history, photographs and images of self, family and friends.  The tiny papery blue figure sat in the centre of the table, arranged with the women's journals and a rather scary looking old rag doll.  We discussed the possibility of taking portrait photographs of all us participating and I used my Olympus Digital Pen camera which offered the option of taking images with a selected inbuilt art filter.  Everyone was very brave and chose their own setting, from Pop Art, Sepia, Grainy Black & White to Soft Focus.  I look rather orange said one, like I have to been to the local tanning shop.  Each of us decided on what the image would depict.  The portrait prints can be used to fit inside story pages of each book, or make a small story doll figure.

"I really noticed how negative I was when I first came to the sessions and my book reflected that, now I am focusing on the positive aspects of my life.  I've really changed."

"I can see how I'm feeling, what makes me happy, the places I go which make me feel relaxed" she said gently.

There is talk about ourselves as children, of mothers who told us there are no such things as fairytales, and now as mothers experiencing how children change our lives and how we respond to the disruption, disappointments, joys and challenges.  We stand the books up and look around and inside the pages...and discuss how individual they are...

There's only one of me!

"Looking through your journal you can tell each week what emotion you've gone through"...

Identity : Session 5

My Time My Space sessions ingredients are always the same, a warm, quiet, supportive environment, a table laid beautifully, with different materials to inspire thoughts and possible conversations.  To begin this session there is arranged on the table some vintage magazines - 'Women's Realm' which a friend gave to me to share with the group.  I share too a memory book I made for a hospital project, colourful crammed full pages, wrapped in the softest black leather from an old chair.  I originally made the book thinking if lost my memory and couldn't recall my life, that I would hope someone would find the book, show me the pages and I would know myself once more.  Inside the book is lots of pictures from my travels to Japan.  We agree next week to have fun and bring out the camera to take portraits of ourselves to create art dolls.

We begin by exploring ideas of places we were inspired by..and times enjoyed.  Cutting from old magazines, newspapers, birthday cards and photocopied images, collaged pages become memory stories.

A memory tree is made, the beginnings of a wishing game, a imaginary journey and a golden faraway shore. 

Reflection : Session 4

Last week the nation celebrated the Queen's Diamond Jubilee which meant no My Time, My Space session. It is grey and overcast on the bank holiday Monday, and I felt the need for some quiet time in nature.  A walk in the rain drenched landscape involves finding a path through the abundant crop field and we head towards one of his favourite wooded enclaves off the beaten track.  Looking up we see a deer standing still, on the edge of the woodland, watchful, alert, ready to flee.  We cross the boundary fence and quietly trace our steps through nettles, shade, trees and overgrown pathways.  I decide to dedicate the time to the MTMS women and imagine we are connecting on the journey. Along the way I discover flint, wood, fern cones, a delicate branch rich with lichen and a handful of moss.  I place my findings in my whicker basket and feel the weight of the fragrant damp collection and decide to take to the next MTMS session and create the woodland feel.
   

Woodland offerings, colourful pearlescent inks for reflection, fragrant essential oils to clear, uplift & calm.

 I bring the collection of woodland findings to the session and re-create a woodland feel, there is relaxation music playing as women enter - a Japanese garden wood flute CD, with nature arrangement on an offerings table, and on the creativity table, inks, paper & fragrant essential oils. I tell the story of my woodland walk in the rain and invite the writing of an imaginary story One Day I went for a Walk.... We all begin writing in different coloured pens, pathways to somewhere special, in a landscape or an environment that comes to mind, maybe with someone we care about, a special journey, a time and place, somewhere that is unique to each of us, perhaps finding along the way small offerings or treasures.  For some it is possible to scribble thoughts on throw away paper, then fold them small and place within their journals; for another it is a place to just sit and sip tea. 

I'm not sure how long I can stay...

We discuss experimenting, seeing what happens when large amounts of water are drizzled and dripped, when brushes soaked with water is applied to create inky painterly patterns with thoughts of past and present.

"It just looks a mess to me!" she said brightly.

Conversation traces themes of home, work, money, learning, relationships, childhood & motherhood...patterns of daily life, the need for routine, personal space, individuality

A memory of a special place & time...

....experienced from different perspectives!

A time to transform negative to positive!

Looking down at my own piece of paper I am horrified to see that the inks don't do anything as I had expected. I look around and see beauty unfolding and amazing paintings, and observe that we could get rich selling the artworks as French impressionist masters. There is laughter and we discuss expectations and fears, how history affects and colours our present.  Swishes of turquoise, magenta and greens mix with murmerings of dark memories and ideas for change as colours swirl.  

We acknowledge what we think are the most important things to hand on to our children...LOVE, RESPECT & TIME.

"I am going to make memory boxes for my children,
 so when I am gone they will know who I am really am " she said...

With thanks to health visitor Judith for baking and sharing the wonderful jubilee cup cakes.  We clear the table and decide women sharing with others is a really positive thing and a small seed of a plan unfolds of how to continue to meet after the ten MTMS sessions completes. There is the exciting news that textile artist, Paula Tew will be joining MTMS too, bringing her love of textiles, contemporary printmaking and Japanese culture to four sessions.